We've all heard that hoary old saw when we were kids about how the word "fuck" originally came from from an the term "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" or maybe "Fornication Under Command Of The King", usually with some sort of elaborate explanation having to do with Henry VIII or Richard The Lionheart. Of course it's utter nonsense and I'm constantly surprised that anyone actually takes that in any way seriously.
But then most people have the idea that swearing is a relatively recent thing. We get that Victorians swore but earlier than that we somehow assume that everybody spoke like John Milton, William Shakespeare, Francis Bacon or Geoffrey Chaucer. Actually we know that people in Tudor and Stuart times swore quite a lot, including Henry VIII and Elizabeth who were quite enthusiastic cursers. OK we might kind of expect that of those two but even Henry's son Edward VI, otherwise seen as a rather humorless Protestant prig (which he was) liked to swear up a storm. So much so that he was frequently punished by his tutors for being too profane even by the standards of Henry VIII, which must have quite a trick. So swearing was thoroughly commonplace in the 1500's.
In fact it was so commonplace that in the 1551's Mary Queen Of Scots passed a law banning the foul habit. Punishments included the use of "swearboxes" (in case you were wondering who came up with the idea of the home or office "swearjar") or a right good paddling. When her son James VI became king James I of England as well in 1603 he took those laws with him to his new kingdom. The success of these laws can be seen in the fact that to this day hardly anybody in the English speaking world swears anymore. Problem solved.
While the Scots may have been the first killjoys to try and ban profanity that does not mean they were shy about using it themselves. Fuck no. In fact it's from them we have the oldest known usage of the word "fuck" in literature.
William Dunbar (1465 - 1525) is widely seen as Scotland's first great poet in the Scots language, Robbie Burns was a huge fan. Ironically Dunbar was a former friar but that didn't stop him from from writing a fair amount of bawdy and sacrilegious poetry including this stanza;
"Ane Brash Of Wowing" by William Dunbar
"He clappit fast, he kist, and chukkit,
As with the glaikis he wer ouirgane;
Yit be his feirris he wald have fukkit;
Ye brek my hart, my bony ane!"
Translation;
"One Bout Of Wooing"
"He held fast, he kissed, and fondling,
As with the feeling he was overcome;
It be his manner he would have fucked;
You break my heart, my lovely one!"
image host
COPY OF DUNBAR'S "GOLDEN TARGE"
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Dunbar may have been the first and most honored dirty Scottish poet (or more accurately Scottish dirty poet) he was hardly the last. Some contemporaries were;
"The Answer Quhilk" by Schir Dauid Lindesay" (1555)
"For, lyke ane boisterous Bull, he rin and ryde
Royatouslie lyke and rude Rubeatour,
Ay fukkand lyke and furious Fornicatour."
Translation;
"The Answer Quick" by Sir David Lindsey (a knight no less)
"For, like one boisterous Bull, he run and ride
Riotously like and rude Libertine.
He fucked like a furious Fornicator."
SIR DAVID LINDSEY
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"Ane Ballat Maid To The Derisioun And Scorne Of Wantoun Women" by Alexander Scott (1550)
"Fairweill with chestetie
Fra wenchis fall to chucking.
Their fellowis thingis three
To gar thame ga in gucking
Brasing, graping, and plucking;
Thir foure the suth to sane?
Enforsis thame to fucking."
Translation;
"One Ballad Made To The Derision And Scorn Of Wanton Women"
"Farewell with chastity
When wenches fall to fondling.
Their fellows think there
To cause them go in fooling
Embracing, feeling and pulling;
These for the truth to say?
Enforces them to fucking."
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Since the Scots were using the word in poems in the early 1500's it's safe to assume the Brits were using it too. It's also safe to assume that they had been doing so for quite some time in common usage otherwise there'd be no point in using them in print. Printing by the way was introduced to Britain by William Caxton in 1473 with his publication of "Recuyell of the Historyes of Troye" (actually printed in English in Bruges and imported into England) followed by Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" actually printed in England in 1476. So "Fuck" couldn't have been in print prior to that date anyway. Certainly before William Caxton made it possible to deliver dirty limericks to the masses, at least those who could read.
As for the word itself; "Fuck" is sometimes also referred to euphemistically as an "Anglo-Saxon word", and this is actually pretty accurate.
The original Anglo-Saxons came from Saxony in Northern Germany, Jutland in Denmark and Frisia in Northern Holland, and they spoke an old Germanic language most closely related to Frisian, a language still spoken in parts of Holland. It's been pointed out that German has a word "ficken"; meaning to hit, strike or pound. It's not hard to see how that could have been used as a sexual metaphor as in "I'd like to nail/bang/tap that".
Then came came 1066 and the Norman conquest. The Normans spoke Norman-French which had "foutre", a word in turn taken from the Latin "futuo" meaning, well, to fuck. Once again it's not hard to see how "ficken" and "futuo" could eventually be combined into one word "fuck". That word (and a host of others) made their way north into Scotland as the "Scots" dialect where they were clearly put to good use.
And as for the legendary Richard The Lionhearted? He was a Franco-Norman who spoke little or no English at all. But since he spent literally all his time at war he probably knew how to swear like a soldier. He may have even said "Fuck this shit!". I mean even before Sean Connery started playing him.